


You Can Be King Again

by unmei_hana



Category: taekook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spirits, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Sad, character death?? kinda? hear me oUT, jungkook is sad, like if u cried, so much angst im sorry fam, taehyung is a pianist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unmei_hana/pseuds/unmei_hana
Summary: “I’m telling you to love. I’m telling you to learn. I’m telling you to laugh and to cry. I’m telling you to grasp onto your life even if it’s just by your fingertips. But mostly importantly, I’m telling you to live.”---Jungkook is on the verge of giving up, until a strange man shows up at his balcony claiming he is there to change everything. And consenquently, he does.





	You Can Be King Again

**Author's Note:**

> This entire fic was inspired by Lauren Aquilia's "King", the title also inspired. I'll link a playlist for this fic at the end of the writing, since I'm a dweeb who doesn't know how to add links to notes.
> 
> Thank you to anyone who reads this story, comments are very much so appreciated thank you! (also let me know of any mistakes)
> 
> This one is an emotional ride, good luck hahah.

_ “Why the long face buddy? _ _ ”  _ _ The man asked, kneeling down to meet the boy standing before him, wiping his damp cheek.  _

_ “My mommy died last year. Daddy was angry. People make fun of me  for crying at school, they call me mean names.” he explained, sniffling. Not that it had much effect, snot clearly still dripping down his nose. Taehyung sighed.  _

_ “Ah silly humans. You’re always so blinded by the past that you forget there is a future waiting for you. Now, if you keeping watching the door that closed, you’ll never notice all the opens ones, will you?” The man spoke softly, his eyes were fond. The boy looked at him with wide, glazed eyes.  _

_ “What are you saying?” Naturally,  Taehyung had expected the kid to not immediately get the door dynamic, but he hoped it would linger in his brain for years to come, even if he didn’t remember the voice behind those words.   _

_ “I’m telling you to love. I’m telling you to learn. I’m telling you to laugh and to cry. I’m telling you to grasp onto your life even if it’s just by your fingertips. But mostly importantly, I’m telling you to live.”  _

 

_ \--------------- _

 

Jungkook couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t have a lump nagging at him in his sternum. He couldn’t remember not having that cool chill that always seemed to make him uncomfortable and never at ease. 

Jungkook felt empty, sitting on the floor with his head leaning on the back of his couch. He felt like an empty hollow shell left of the human he once was, like everything he was possible of feeling was sucked out of him, leaving him devoid of emotion and unable to move. 

He knew he needed a shower, he could feel his skin crawling, sweat matting his black hair to his forehead. He just didn’t have the motivation.

He wasn’t sure on how long he had been sitting there, left with his own mind. It felt like being just a meer brain in a glass jar, because he wasn’t capable of doing much more than that. 

Dry blood stained his knuckles, he wasn’t sure what he had punched but he knew he regretted it. He had a tendency to bleed to remind himself that he was alive.

Jungkook’s world was crumbling, far too quickly for him to even attempt to scramble around, desperately trying to put back the pieces. He couldn’t fix himself alone, not this time. He wasn’t strong enough anymore. 

It could’ve been hours, maybe days, before Jungkook dragged himself into the bathroom. He often wondered why he didn’t get tired anymore, or didn’t feel the need to eat or drink. Overtime his own well-being just slipped down his list of priorities. It wasn’t healthy. 

He had to peel his clothes from his body, being free of them was refreshing. He avoided eye contact with himself in the mirror, he feared he wouldn’t recognise the tired, cold eyes staring back at him. 

He turned the handle, flinching when the cold water trickled between his toes. It was awakening, his brain was finally paying attention the world around rather than drowning itself in degrading thoughts. 

As soon as the temperature was durable, he slipped in, dunking his head under the water. He watched the water dripping down his strands of hair and falling down the sink, the water seemed to wash away the metaphorical filth that had etched his skin. It felt like all his thoughts and worries would flushing away down the drain to be forgotten, leaving him in peace.

He knew it wouldn’t last for long, he knew well enough by now that you gained nothing from being naive. You’d only be left alone with broken trust, that’s just how it was. 

Yet he stayed as long as he possibly could, until he skin was pink and raw. Until his hands wrinkled and he couldn’t feel his feet. He wanted to bask in the freedom in not having to  _ think.  _

He barely made it out of the shower when his legs gave out from under him, making him sink to the floor. He immediately buried his hands between his knees, a strangled sob escaping his throat before a single tear fell. It wasn’t a gradual process, his emotions crashed upon him all at once, he couldn’t tell if it was his dripping body or tears hitting the floor, but he quite frankly didn’t care.

There was something saddening about crying alone without anyone to comfort you. It was like screaming for help but no one could hear you, in the end it was all just pointless. That realisation itself stopped the tears completely. 

He pulled himself off the floor, wrapping a towel quickly around his waist. He went to brush his teeth, unable to avoid seeing himself in the mirror this time. He was right, he was unrecognisable. 

He used always admire his wide eyes and how’d they shine, or how they crinkled when he laughed, Jungkook was never afraid to admit that they were pretty. Now they just seemed dull and meek, with dark circles surrounding them. His usual glowing skin was pale, his cheekbones more prominent than ever, but not in a good way.

He wondered how it all got like this, how he let himself get to this point where he just didn’t care about anything anymore. Where he would settle with anything thrown at him,  _ when did he become so helpless?  _

He could see his eyes watering again, the glimmer of tears he almost mistook for emotion. He shouldn’t get his hopes up like that. 

His concentration was broken when he heard a knock coming from his main room. At first he assumed it was the front door, y’know, where you’d usually expect a knock from, but after examining the room it didn’t take long to realise that the knock was coming from outside on the balcony.

Jungkook knew the smart decision would be to ignore it and go to bed. He had no idea what kind of lunatic would climb up a building just to chill on someone’s balcony, and then expect entrance when knocking. 

 

But he couldn’t help the curiosity that made his fingers twitch. He couldn’t help but wonder if the person was in trouble and he could save them. But mostly, he couldn’t stand being by himself anymore. Even if this person was a potential murderer, he couldn’t stand being alone with his own voice anymore. He needed another human’s company before his lost his sanity. 

 

He couldn’t deny that his hand was trembling as it hovered over the door handle, hesitantly grabbing it, he didn’t even pull back the curtains to examine the person’s appearance. 

He let the door become ajar slowly, poking his small head through the crack, he knew he expected to see a figure waiting for him, but that didn’t stop him from jumping in his place, immediately grabbing his towel so he didn’t flash the stranger on first impression. 

 

“Hey Jungkook,” He could tell it was a man from the broad shoulders and masculine built body. He couldn’t see his face under the dark night sky, his roof making it so that he wasn’t exposed to the moonlight, which didn’t really help. The fact that this person knew Jungkook’s unnerved him even further. His brain was yelling at him to slam the door and lock it, even if the persistent knocking were to continue. But then everything would just go back to how it was. Jungkook wanted to break the norm, even if it was just this once. 

“Oh shit you have rippling abs now, it’s hard to believe you were once a chubby, sniffling little kid.” He was sitting perched on the balcony, his arms drooped over his knees. He jumped down then, putting himself in the moon’s light, but even know Jungkook couldn’t see him. He was wearing a black medical mask over his face, only his happy eyes on display. His eyes were clearly unnaturally blue and his pinky red hair equally as fake, but Jungkook couldn’t help but find it nothing more than intriguing. 

“Stop acting like you know me,” This boy was clearly a similar age to Jungkook, maybe a year or two older. There’s no way he knew Jungkook when he was a meer kid, that wasn’t physically possible, “I don’t  _ know  _ you.” 

The man crossed his arms unhappily, cocking his head, “Who’d ya think got you out your slump when your mother passed away? Ah, but I can’t blame you. Forgetting about me was expected afterall.” 

 

His words oddly clicked in Jungkook’s brain. Jungkook always had a fuzzy spot in his brain from the time period when he lost his mother. He could never remember what it was and it had always bugged him when he dwelled on it. He remembered someone was there for him, someone who gave him encouraging words when he needed it, some of which stuck with him til this day. But he could never recall a face or voice, just the words themselves. That’s what terrified him. There’s no way, but he couldn’t be lying either. He never told another soul about that, he didn’t want people thinking he was crazy. He always kept it to himself. 

“I’m telling you to love. I’m telling you to learn. I’m telling you to laugh and to cry. I’m telling you to grasp onto your life even if it’s just by your fingertips-” 

“But most importantly, I’m telling you to  _ live _ .” The man finished Jungkook’s words, making images flash into his head. It was the same man, except in his family house. Jungkook’s looking up at him, barely reaching his thigh. He kneeled down to him, smiling with eyes. It all felt so familiar now, but none of it made sense to him. The time’s and the ages just didn’t add up, and he looked almost the same, only slightly older. 

“ _ Who are you? _ ” Jungkook wanted answers. His head was blurry and confused, trying to gather the newfound information in his brain and somehow make sense of it, but it was impossible. Had he finally gone crazy from the constant solitude? Now he was seeing his childhood imaginary friends once more? He wanted to scream, he’d gone from not feeling at all to feeling at once. He wasn’t in the right emotional state to handle this situation right now. But he couldn’t run anymore, he was sick of running. 

“I’m Kim Taehyung- half human half spirit, nice to meet you, well for the second time, I suppose.” Jungkook wasn’t sure why he decided to cover his face, but it seemed every emotion he felt was shown through his eyes. He was easy to read and happy, Jungkook envied how carefree he was. He also admired it. 

 

“Half what? Are you on drugs?  _ Am I on drugs? _ ” Jungkook looked at himself, not ever recalling buying some sketchy stuff off dudes in the street, as far as he was concerned, he wasn’t influenced by any substance, not even alcohol. 

“Listen buddy, I don’t expect you to believe me or for you to understand, but I’m just gonna tell you how it is. I died as a kid and I guess I was too good for this world and given a second chance. I’m here to make people happy- or more specifically- you happy. I age quite slowly to make sure I’m here your entire life. I still feel pain and sorrow, happiness and excitement. I’m the exact same as you.” 

Jungkook quirked an eyebrow, not sure as how to how he should respond. He didn’t seem like he was lying, and it would make sense, it just seemed too far-fetched. Jungkook always thought with logic, tending not to believe in anything other than science, so this guy made him want to roll his eyes. 

“Your mother is the reason I got a second chance. Her death wish was for someone to protect you because she knew your father wouldn’t. Someone up there listens y’know? I don’t know who or what. But there’s more than just  _ this _ .” 

This struck a chord with Jungkook, even though it was bizarre it was something his mother would do. Jungkook was her world. When she got sick she always told Jungkook that she would have someone come look after him, and that he wouldn’t be alone with his father. Jungkook had always waited for that person to come, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to believe it was the dorky person standing before him. 

“Why do I believe you?” Jungkook asked, it was more of a question directed at himself rather than him. It didn’t make sense, but he felt something that he didn’t dare question. Maybe it was his mother, maybe it was stupidity fooling him. But that didn’t matter to him. 

“Because it makes sense. And I’m not faltering and have too much proof. You know damn well I’m not lying, that’s why.” 

Jungkook took another step onto the balcony staring at the lit up buildings that surrounded his apartment. Speeding cars and flashing signs filled the night, accompanied by twinkling stars in the night sky. The night sky always seemed like a black abyss, ready to swallow up anyone who stared for too long. He looked back at Taehyung who was watching him intently. Everything about him felt familiar. Jungkook after everything was very hard to earn trust from, he really didn’t trust anyone fully, but it seemed he’d already given it to this man he just met. He didn’t like how much he knew about him. He didn’t like how his usually enclosed self was now an open book, it felt bare. 

“I-I,” Jungkook began spluttering suddenly, feeling tears well up in his eyes. Taehyung sighed, his eyes showed pity. He gently wrapped his fingers around Jungkook’s wrist, making him flinch. He lifted up his hand, holding it out in front of him. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Taehyung spoke softly, staring so intensely into Jungkook’s eyes he felt like he was going to melt and disappear. He didn’t remove his grip, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. He hadn’t had human contact in months, it was unsettlingly nice. 

“After everyone who swore that to me,” Jungkook sucked in a large breath, his vision being blurred by his welling tears, “How do you expect me to believe you?” 

 

Jungkook could see a faint smile forming behind his mask. 

 

“I don’t.” 

 

\------

 

Jungkook was sitting on the couch, his knees brought up to his chest. Yes, he let this psycho stranger into his house who claimed to be a spirit and he did not regret it. He finally felt like he had a purpose once more and if that meant doing something crazy, was it really all that bad?

He still didn’t voluntarily talk to him, he couldn’t bring himself to. He was still unsure about him, he was sure that would never change. Everyone close Jungkook had hurt him, so at this point he had nothing left to lose, there was no more risks. 

Taehyung showed up with a notepad and pen taken from Jungkook’s office, sitting down beside him and placing the materials down on his lap. He held the pen in his mouth, he looked like he was questioning how to start up the conversation. 

“Now, so I can help you I need to know what’s making you sad. Do you mind telling me?” He was talking nice and slow, making sure he didn’t pressure Jungkook into thinking he was being forced to talk about his problems like a therapist, but his notepad and pen probably didn’t help his case. This Jungkook was different from when he was a gullible kid who would take anything he said. He didn’t know this Jungkook’s boundaries and what he was and wasn’t comfortable with, so he was bound to experiment. 

“I don’t have to tell you  _ anything _ ,” Jungkook spat, his eyes showed fear rather than anger. Taehyung expected him to react like this, he was building up walls to keep him out. It was a naturally reaction from people who have been hurt multiple times, it was only to prevent being hurt once again. 

“You don’t have to,” Taehyung shrugged, placing the notepad on the coffee table, crossing his arms, “I just don’t want you to shut me out.”

 

“Shut you  _ out? What makes you think I’m letting you in? _ ” Jungkook was growling now, pulling himself off the couch to be further from Taehyung, like proximity would change anything. His face was scrunched up, he looked like he wanted to be angry, but he was about to cry. His fists were balled so tightly that Taehyung could see his was beginning to draw blood.

 

“Stop that,” He gestured towards his hands, “You’re going to hurt yourself.” 

“Stop acting like you care about me,” He wasn’t shouting, but it was so flat that it was even more terrifying, “Please leave. I regret letting you in, I wasn’t thinking straight. Go.” 

“Okay,” Taehyung said simply, pulling himself off the couch. He know prying too far never helped anything. He had every intention of giving Jungkook whatever he asked for. That was his purpose, afterall. Jungkook watched him as he moved, feeling his emotions boil in his stomach. He didn’t unclench his fist, he knew if he did he would cry. He didn’t want to make himself look vulnerable, that would only encourage Taehyung. 

 

“I know my words our pointless to you Jungkook, and you’ll probably never believe me but- I’m on your side, okay?” Taehyung was hovering by the balcony, hoping he could win Jungkook over last minute. It didn’t work. He watched him for a second, before turning to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him. Taehyung couldn’t help but feel disappointed at that, he even used his trump card. It was simple, really. He just didn’t want Jungkook to hurt any longer. 

Now that Jungkook was gone, he didn’t really fancy walking all the way to his apartment at this hour, instead he decided to crash on the couch, he had every intention of waking up before Jungkook, but he may over underestimated how tired he really was. 

 

\----

 

Jungkook didn’t expect to find a motionless body sprawled across his couch the next day, but it made him bubble with anger. He grabbed a nearby pillow, whacking the sleeping body repeatedly with it, until he stirred from his sleep. 

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Jungkook was snarling again, he just wanted to forget yesterday ever happened, he had let his guard down for one minute and now a stranger won’t leave him alone. 

Taehyung seemed disinterested in his words, focusing more on the empty box that Jungkook had in his arms. 

“What’s that for?” he spoke groggily, squinting at Jungkook. Jungkook looked down at the empty box, debating on how he should respond. 

 

“I was signed to a record company but they let me go because I complained about them changing to my song lyrics to have no meaning behind them. I’m going to collect my things. Why don’t you write that in your fucking notebook?” Jungkook grew angry again. Taehyung made him angry. He barged into matters that were none of his business, no matter how many times he claimed it was his ‘purpose’ Jungkook didn’t give a shit about that. That was clearly Taehyung’s problem, not his. He never thought he would say it but he wished he was left alone again, he wanted to handle his own problems the way he wanted to, not from his cheesy advice that he probably told everyone. 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be. Save your sorry if you’re still here when I get back, because then I’ll be calling the police.” 

 

He didn’t even wait for Taehyung’s response before turning and leaving, once again slamming the door behind him. It was definitely on purpose, he wanted the added dramatic effect to make his threat more sincere. 

 

\-----------

 

Taehyung dangled his legs happily off the kitchen stool, swinging them up and down with his hands in his lap. He had been waiting for Jungkook to return for hours now, hoping his plan would stop him for kicking him out entirely. Jungkook was his soul purpose for even existing, so if he didn’t have that, what did he have left? Besides, Taehyung’s personality didn’t allow him to give up so easily, he was more determined than that. 

 

He also wanted to make Jungkook’s mother proud of him. Not to say she already wasn’t, but he wanted her to know that he’s trying his best. He owed a lot to her, it was the least he could do in return. 

Taehyung could hear light footsteps coming down the hallway, causing him to jump off his stool immediately, he had to get to the door before Jungkook did. He could hear him fiddling with his keys just outside the door, Taehyung was still metres away. 

He pulled it open, slitting his body in the gap so Jungkook couldn’t see behind him, smiling innocently. I mean, not that Jungkook could tell. Jungkook didn’t seem surprised to see him, more so exasperated. His empty box was now full with pages and pencils and some random trinkets, being reminded of why he left made Taehyung’s heart pang. He really genuinely wanted the best for Jungkook, he deserved it. 

 

“Why are you still here?” He was too tired to get angry or fight, instead just trying to slip past Taehyung. Taehyung didn’t budge his body, standing stiffly. Jungkook stood back. 

 

“What? Did you break something? Just let me in,” Taehyung didn’t give in, wanting to explain at least briefly the addition he decided to make to his apartment while he was gone. He wasn’t sure how Jungkook would react, and he didn’t want to get him riled up again, he at least wanted him to be somewhat emotionally prepared. 

 

“It’s not what I broke,” Taehyung paused, moving back slightly to give Jungkook more access, “It’s what I added.” 

 

He let Jungkook walk past him then, barging his way into the apartment. Jungkook must be blind, not notice the giant object at first. He casually placed his box on the coffee table, taking off his hoodie and throwing it across the arm of the couch. He looked perplexed, which only frustrated Taehyung more. 

 

“Tae-”

 

“Jungkook,” he interrupted, walking over to him and placing a hand on each shoulder, “Behind you.”

 

He swivelled him around, having him directly in front of the object, if he couldn’t see it now Taehyung was definitely bringing him to get his eyes tested. 

Jungkook didn’t move at first, his hands falling limp by his sides. He looked at it for a moment, almost in disbelief. He approached it slowly, his fingers running across the shiny black surface smoothly. He had a small smile on his face. He sat down on the leather stool placed in front of it, his hands gently darting across the keys without actually playing any.

 

“You got me-” he stopped, his voice cracking, “A grand piano.” 

 

He held his face in his hands as he began sobbing into them, and ugly sound coming from the piano because of the random keys he just fell upon. Taehyung didn’t know the cause of the tears, whether they were good or bad, but he didn’t expect a casual reaction in the first place. 

“Well technically it’s just mine, not like it’s new or anything. I just kinda- brought it here. Well nevermind that, it’s yours now, if you want it,” Taehyung began rubbing soft circles into his back, trying to comfort him. He was choking on his own tears, which made Taehyung physically hurt. He knew this boy was broken, but he didn’t realise to what extent until now. Sure, it will take more time that he originally expected, but he wasn’t going to back down. 

 

“I’m happy,” Jungkook gasped, trying to find his own breath, his voice still wavering, “Happy tears.” 

 

Taehyung sat down beside him, hovering his fingers over the keys, Jungkook sat up then, watching him with damp cheeks and puffy eyes. 

 

“Can you play?” Taehyung asked. He bent down to where he had placed his bag of music sheets earlier, even he if he didn’t know how Taehyung wanted to teach him. He wanted to show Jungkook that he had the ability to make his own music without anyone tampering with your ideas. He wanted Jungkook to know that his own talent could get him places and he didn’t need other people’s approval, just his own. Taehyung felt strongly about these things, because they were important to him. 

 

“Not really,” Jungkook spoke truthfully, “My mum used to try teach me. I know basics and I can read music sheets but- there was this one song. A duet. We always played it together.” 

 

“Heart and soul by chance?” Taehyung asked, finding the music sheet in his folder, holding it up for Jungkook to see. He smiled weakly in response. 

 

“Yeah. After watching the movie I’ve always wanted to find a toy store with a big piano floor so I could play it with her but-” he paused, twiddling with his thumbs as a distraction, “We didn’t find one in time.”

 

Jungkook didn’t realise how much he was opening up to Taehyung until after he said it and it scared him. He wanted to fence himself away but something about Taehyung made him want to talk for hours. He knew this guy for not even a solid day yet and he was prepared to give him his life story. This Taehyung was dangerous, he was trouble. He was breaking walls so easily that Jungkook spent so long building, he wasn’t comfortable with it. But he couldn’t help but fall into his well laid trap. 

 

“Do you want to play it?” Taehyung asked, “With me?”

 

“Okay,” Jungkook knew agreeing wasn’t a good idea but he did it anyway. He missed playing piano- this song in particular, “I’ll do the second part, I was never good at the first.” 

 

Taehyung nodded, resting his fingers on the designated keys. He took a death breath in. He glanced quickly at Jungkook before beginning, he could’ve swore he was smiling. 

His fingers hit the first key, the sound ringing into the air. He played with ease, considering how experienced Taehyung was and compared to some pieces he has mastered this was piss easy. He didn’t want Jungkook to feel intimidated, so he furrowed his brow to make it look like he was having a hard time keeping up.

It came to Jungkook’s part, his eyes firmly on the music sheet when his fingers hit the keys. His sounds were reluctant and scared, nowhere near as loud and powerful as Taehyung’s skilled hands. He felt like he was being swallowed by the music Taehyung was emitting, he didn’t compare.

 

He was about to pull his hands away when Taehyung began to play more softly, matching Jungkook’s gentle movements. Jungkook looked at him confused, he just smiled knowingly. 

The sound replicated Jungkook’s mother’s soothe playing too much for him to ignore. He suddenly couldn’t concentrate on the keys, he had no idea where he was putting his fingers, pounding hopelessly. The sound it created was absolutely atrocious, it made Jungkook cry again. 

His head hit the keys, his eyes didn’t even water, his mouth just creating sounds of despair. 

 

“Hey, hey it’s okay. It’s okay. You did great,” Taehyung stopped playing, his hands on Jungkook’s back again. He really did have magic hands. Jungkook felt bad for killing the beautiful sounds that Taehyung could make, he didn’t want to ruin it. 

 

“Play me something,” Jungkook whimpered, the lump in his throat was relentless, “The most intense thing you have to offer.” 

 

“You’re going to have to get off the stool if that’s what you want, I need all the space I can get.”

 

Jungkook did as he was told, sliding off the stool and sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor beneath him. Taehyung flicked through his papers, pulling out a sheet with more notes than Jungkook has every seen, making his jaw drop. 

 

“What on Earth is that?!” He exclaimed, enticed by how impossible it looked. Jungkook refused to believe someone’s hand could move fast enough to hit each and every single one of those notes with perfection. There was no way. 

 

“Flight of the Bumble-Bee Cziffra version,” Taehyung was smiling smugly, “I don’t know why I bother with the music sheet to be honest, I can barely follow this score with my eyes.” 

 

Jungkook was wide eyed and amazed, greatly anticipating the other boy’s performance. 

 

“Unlike most, I don’t think this song is about speed. I believe this song sounds best when it replicates the sounds of Bees flying. I think that’s how Rachmaninov intended it to sound like. Or maybe that’s just me.”

 

Taehyung was a strange person with strange thoughts. He covered his face and dyed his hair vibrant hair. He wore contacts to disguise his real eyes. Jungkook wondered if this was who he was or whether he was hiding his true self. 

 

Those thoughts vanished completely as soon as Taehyung’s hands hit the first keys, Jungkook knew from then they weren’t going to stop. 

Jungkook could barely see Taehyung’s hands as they rapidly danced across the keys, hitting each note perfectly. His sound was something else, replicating the insects buzzing insanely well.

Jungkook couldn’t believe his eyes or his ears, especially when Taehyung lifted his head up and closed his eyes, not even watching his hands and just basking in the music. It was crazy. 

 

Taehyung was sweating but he didn’t look tired, he looked happy. He smiled with eyes, seeing as Jungkook couldn’t see anything else. His hands were so precise, yet delicate, meeting each note like each was individually important, even though there were seemingly hundreds.

That’s what made Taehyung special. He never underestimated anything, bringing everything to it’s full potential. That was his style of playing piano. He cared about each and every single note, like they meant the world to him. 

It was beautiful. 

 

Taehyung ended the song by hitting the last few notes a bit more violently than the other’s, leaving Jungkook sitting there in astonishment. 

Taehyung's chest was rising and falling, his was breathing heavily. He couldn’t hide that. 

 

“That was-” Jungkook started flailing hand gestures because he didn’t know how to explain how watching that made him felt, “Unbelievable.” 

 

“Well,” Taehyung sighed, stretching his arms out above his head and yawning, “I had a lot of spare time waiting for you so I guess this became my hobby. I had a lot of time to perfect it, anyway.” 

 

“You’re like- a prodigy!” Jungkook was getting mildly excited, he always did around people who showed musical talent. It was his passion also, afterall.

 

“Nah, I’m too old for prodigy business. Let’s go with talented instead? Anyway I brought these for you,” He bent down, shuffling through his belongings before pulling out a book. 

 

“I uhm, thought you could learn piano, y’know? Make your own songs and stuff. At least then other people don’t matter right?” He held out the book to Jungkook, it basically explaining the basics of piano and some introduction songs. It was still cute of him, though. 

 

“What are you gonna do- I mean, if your piano is here?” Jungkook asked, suddenly feeling guilty for ripping away this man’s only hobby just for his sake, that wasn’t right. Jungkook wasn’t even sure if he could write songs anymore. He wrote about how he felt in the current and about his relationships with others, he didn’t really have that anymore. He didn’t expect anyone to enjoy songs about sitting on your floor doing nothing all day. His music didn’t sound the same, it didn’t make him feel like he used to. 

 

“I have a 88 keyboard at home, don’t worry about it.”

Jungkook wasn’t aware that this was Taehyung’s most prized possession. It was the only thing he had from when he was alive, it was the only proof that he actually once  _ lived _ . He wouldn’t know what to do if anything were to happen to it, he would feel like he had lost the only connection he had to his true self. But he gave it to Jungkook, because he knew, right now, he needed more than he ever did or ever will. 

 

“Oh right. I see you. Don’t be afraid to take it back if you want.”

 

“Can I stay? Like on the couch, I mean,” Taehyung decided to test the waters, curious as to how much progress he made today. He could see Jungkook chewing on his bottom lip. 

 

“No,” he said bluntly without blinking once, “Please go home.” 

 

Taehyung should’ve known it would never be that simple, one peace offering wasn’t going to win anyone’s heart over. He nodded, feeling no need to argue, he was reasonable about it. He didn’t have anything he needed to bring home, so he just left it at that.  

 

Jungkook watched Taehyung leave through the peephole, and when he was sure he was gone he dropped to the floor, his back against the door. He began to cry again, loudly, too. He couldn’t explain why but he just felt the need. He wished he would stop crying whenever he felt anything at all, he didn’t want to be so weak. He just felt so hard and so much that it led him to feel like he was constantly despairing.

Happiness wasn’t worth feeling with the backlash of sadness that came with it, that’s what Jungkook wanted to believe.

 

\----

 

Taehyung didn’t return to Jungkook’s apartment officially until a week after. He had stood outside his door outside sometimes to see if he was practising, and sure enough, he was. He was a fast learner in Taehyung’s eyes, each time he came round he was playing a new song with ease. He was one of those people with natural talent, the talent that other’s had to work their asses off for. 

Usually those kinds of people frustrated Taehyung, as it took him blood, sweat and tears to get to the point where he was now, but it looked good on Jungkook. It was admirable. 

 

Sometimes he’d see Jungkook sitting outside his balcony, staring up into the night sky. He looked like he was looking for the something, or waiting for something, Taehyung lowkey hoped it was him. Afterall, he was saving his ass. 

 

Taehyung felt nervous returning to Jungkook’s with the intentions of making his presence known, he lived in fear of rejection. Even if Jungkook did want to see him again, there was no way he would ever admit it. 

Taehyung couldn’t remember the last time he could feel his hand’s clamming and his stomach churning in a bundle of nerves, he usually didn’t care about measly human things like this, but it was different this time. 

 

Taehyung decided knocking on the front door was too mainstream for him and that he was ‘ _ classier than that _ ’ and decided to enter from the balcony, which was surprisingly left open.

Jungkook’s apartment was quite sad and bland. The floor was just normal wooden paneling and the walls were just grey. Sure, he had a leather couch, coffee table and TV but he didn’t exactly go out of his way in decorating, it looked like a show house. 

 

“Jungkook?” Taehyung called out, hearing his own voice echoing through the close to empty rooms, “Are you home?” 

 

Taehyung heard a faint sniffle coming from the other side of the couch, between the coffee table. He didn’t have to think twice about the source of the sound, it was blatantly obvious. Jungkook wasn’t very good at hiding. 

Taehyung made a slow approach, not wanting to overwhelm the clearly sensitive boy. He was hunched down between the gap of the coffee table and couch, his head buried into his knees. His fists lay at his side, they were balled. Taehyung sighed. Jungkook’s tears were exceedingly common, he felt bad at how many times he could’ve been there for him in the past week when he wasn’t. 

 

“Jungkook?” he kneeled down in front of him, placing his hand softly on his chin, lifted his head up from his folded position, forcing his unhappy eyes to look at him, “What’s wrong?” 

 

It was then when Taehyung noticed the music sheets sprawled around him, he was so focused on Jungkook’s well being that he didn’t even notice. A few of them were crumpled into balls, others were ripped. Some just lay there, like he gave up too soon to even get to them. 

 

“I can’t do it,” he croaked, trying to pull his head away from Taehyung’s grasp but it just tightened his grip, “It’s not for me.” 

 

“Jungkook, you’ve been playing for a week, the only thing you should be trying to master is ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ not-” he picked up one of the sheets beside him, studying it quickly, “Beethoven’s Fur Elise, are you crazy? It has taken years upon years upon years to get where I am now. Take it slow.” 

 

Jungkook wrapped his slender fingers around Taehyung’s wrist. Jungkook looked like he expected him was to try pry his grip away but instead he just left it there, letting his arm fall limp. Taehyung took a quick intake of breath. 

 

“Can you play it for me?” Jungkook pleaded, his face looked tired and needy, “I can’t get the speed right...I tried playing it as loudly as you did last time but it just sounded awful.” 

 

Taehyung laughed lightly, Jungkook could see the mild amusement in his eyes, he knew he must've done something silly. 

 

“It’s a different song, Jungkook. Fur Elise is supposed to be soft and soothing so you take a more gentle approach. It’s definitely not a song where you pound on the keys- even if it does get mildly intense at some parts,” Taehyung began standing up, not letting go of Jungkook so he just awkwardly stood up with him. Jungkook was smiling, but the dark circle’s that plagued his under eye region was a clear indication that he had been living on minimal sleep. 

 

“Is it...is it okay if I try sleep on the couch while you play? You see...I haven’t really slept and my mum used to play this. I-I’m sorry I just quite like it but if you don’t want to that’s fine I mean It’s not like I can’t-” Taehyung pressed a finger in front of his lips to shut up his mumbling, he couldn’t let it go on much longer, it was painful. 

 

“Say no more princess,” he gestured towards the couch, “Your sleeping chambers await.” 

 

Taehyung was nervous for the first time playing the piano. It seemed like Jungkook had these weird expectations that he was going to perfectly replicate how his mom played it like some miracle, but Taehyung wasn’t  _ that  _ talented, he couldn’t mimic people he has listen to an abundance of times, let alone someone he’s never even heard play a single note. 

 

He was going to play anyway, for Jungkook. He was grateful that this was one of the few songs he knew off by heart, because he, himself, was rather fond of it when he was younger. He’d play it so often that his fingers knew automatically where to go, he didn’t even have to think. The music just sort of flowed through his fingers. 

He sat down on the leather bench once more, scooting his butt to make sure he was comfortable. He cracked his knuckles in front of him just to look cool, even though he knew Jungkook wasn’t watching him. 

 

“Are you ready?” Taehyung’s fingers steadied over the first note. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

Jungkook would never get used to this, how Taehyung could change the music’s sound so easily, it was like he could’ve been the composer himself. Taehyung knew each note inside and out, hitting every single one flawlessly. It wasn’t like his mother’s, who didn’t really hit perfection but didn’t need it at the same time. It didn’t make him feel the same way his mother did, but that wasn’t necessarily bad. 

 

Taehyung’s music was as beautiful as it was because it was different, because it was  _ his.  _ He owned the notes, he owned the sounds. They were all his. Maybe it wasn’t perfect to a critic who only cared about speed and technique, but anyone who cared about the music produced would agree that Taehyung shouldn’t change a single thing. 

Jungkook could feel his eyes going droopy rather quickly, he tried to avoid letting them flutter shut. He wanted to watch Taehyung’s skillful hands and concentrated eyes, because that was all he had. He wanted to ask Taehyung about his decision to cover his face, but before he could say a word he was out cold.

 

Not that Taehyung’s playing was boring, it was the complete opposite. It just had the power to make Jungkook feel so at ease and relaxed, having all his worries disappear made him feel like there was no good reason to stay awake. 

Taehyung was more than willing to play multiple times, but Jungkook was already asleep. 

 

_ Stupid boy _ he thought, watching the other boy’s motionless body,  _ you didn’t even think to bring a blanket.  _

He wanted to be stubborn and open windows so he would get cold, but he was aware that Jungkook was in no position to be able to look after himself. He knew it wasn’t that easy. That’s why he took Jungkook’s into his arms and carried him into his own bed, his heavy breathing made it clear that the switch wouldn’t even make him stir. 

 

“Goodnight Jungkook,” He smiled, knowing that he wouldn’t hear him. It was the thought that counts, so they say. 

\------

 

“Why do you cover your face?” Jungkook arose from his room, staring at the material concealing Taehyung’s features with a frown, “It’s annoying. I can’t tell what you’re feeling. And your voice is muffled, you sound like Darth Vader.” 

 

He didn’t get much sleep the night before, he was a writing a song, one about people who defied the set out ideals of perfection, he would be lying if he said the pink haired boy wasn't the inspiration behind it.

 

Taehyung snorted, causing the fabric from his mask to get sucked into his nostrils. 

 

“Because I’d rather not have you know what I look like,” Taehyung shrugged, it really seemed like he had no underlying meaning behind it, his simple explanation seemed oddly genuine. 

Taehyung was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of steaming coffee placed in front of him. Jungkook didn’t even want to know how he planned on conveniently drinking that. 

 

“Why?” he pried sitting on the seat across from him, crossing his arms like a child who didn’t get what he wanted, “Do you just cover it in front of me?” 

 

Taehyung paused before replying, wondering whether or not being brutally honest was the best option in this situation. Jungkook seemed really obsessive, like the kind of guy who you could hurt 10 years ago and he was still holding it against you secretly. 

 

“Yes,” Taehyung spun a spoon around his coffee, remixing the coffee with the milk, “I worked part time in playschools and that in my free time. I like working with kids, but they would be scared of me if I covered my face all the time, wouldn’t they? You could say that’s why I was so happy to have a job that meant to keep just one kid happy. But- I suppose, you’re not a kid anymore, are you?” 

 

“I can just google you,” Jungkook tried being smart, pulling a cheeky smirk and sticking out his tongue, Taehyung didn’t realise he had the ability to be so childish, it shocked him. 

 

“You won’t find anything, as I technically don’t exist. They’ll have already forgotten that I was there by now,” Taehyung’s eyes were gleaming mischievously, he wasn’t subtle about the fact that he just crushed Jungkook’s motives and was very happy about that. 

 

“What do you mean?” Jungkook look concerned more than anything, his voice switching to panicked. 

 

“Not that you’re imagining me or anything. It’s just that I’m halfway between life or death, it’s easier to forget about me. You forgot about me, too.” 

 

“But I remembered,” Jungkook pointed out almost defensively, “I remembered you when I saw you again. So as long as I can still see you, I’ll know who you are, right?” 

 

Taehyung laughed weakly, “Right.” 

 

\--------

 

Jungkook’s questioning scared Taehyung off. He didn’t realise how being around someone who had no one else would cause them to get attached to you, sure he already seemed scared by the thought of forgetting Taehyung and they only met properly, like, twice. 

Taehyung understood damn well that Jungkook was just fragile and vulnerable and reaching out for the only thing he had going for him, so Taehyung decided it was unhealthy to see him often. 

 

His visited briefly every couple of weeks, but Jungkook didn’t seem to be improving at all. Each time his cheekbones became more hollow and his eyes became more lifeless. Last week, Taehyung could’ve swore he was talking to a dead man. 

 

Jungkook was a mess every time he saw Taehyung. He would smile at first, but it would crack after seconds and his wobbling lips let out some absurd cry for help. His hands shook like crazy all the time, whether it was reaching for something or even keeping them still. Jungkook briefly mentioned his rent being paid by his father and him stopping doing so soon, so Taehyung knew his ignoring method was a huge mistake. 

 

He knew Jungkook had friends and people who cared about him, he probably just cut himself off from them in fear of being a burden. Taehyung knew his monthly visits would be substantial if he wasn’t the only person Jungkook talked to.

 

“Jungkook,” he spoke out randomly to Jungkook who was sitting cross-legged on the couch, staring blankly at the TV screen. It made Taehyung’s heart drop because Jungkook didn’t even notice that the screen was blank, it all looked the same to him. 

 

“What happened to Jimin?” Jungkook craned his head towards him slowly, his lips parting slightly in shock. His shaking hands started trembling more than usual, a flash of pain darting across his average lifeless pupils. 

 

“How do you know about Jimin?” His voice was quiet and wavering, it was almost inaudible. He gulped, his eyes threaten to water like they so often do. 

 

“I know more than you think,” was the only explanation Taehyung was willing to give him, he wasn’t going to give any information until Jungkook gave his. That’s how he decided this was going to work. 

 

“We got into a fight and I haven’t talked to him since,” Jungkook stated sharply, turning to the screen again, “That’s all.” 

 

“What about your father?” the room went painstakingly silent after the bomb Taehyung decided to drop. He could hear Jungkook’s breathing increase rapidly, he could hear him trying to restrain his tears. 

 

“He didn’t like that I am gay. He thinks I’m a sinner. Yet he still supports me. I don’t get it,” Taehyung didn’t expect such a rational response. He expected yelling, crying, but this clearly wasn’t a fresh wound. This idea seemed to be so settled in Jungkook’s brain that he didn’t care anymore, he was used to it. 

 

“If we're sinners than this feels like heaven to me,” Taehyung was laughing and he didn’t know why. It felt like a disrespectful time to giggle, but he couldn’t control it, and for some reason Jungkook started laughing to. It was the first time he heard Jungkook’s laugh, he swore it made his heart stop dead in his chest. He was a beautiful happy human, he wore happy like no other emotion. Taehyung wasn’t sure whether the beauty in it was just it’s rarity, but he knew no matter how many times he heard that ringing laugh fill his ears, he would never be sick of it. 

 

“What? You’re gay too?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow, the question only made Taehyung laugh further. 

 

“Can a spirit have a sexual orientation?” He asked him, laughing so much it almost brought him to tears. Jungkook smiled softly, his eyes crinkling. He was gorgeous. 

 

“Why not?” 

 

\------

 

Taehyung slowly started to forget about his promise to bring Jimin back into Jungkook’s life, he got too focused on trying to fix Jungkook first. He didn’t really do much other than teaching him new songs to play on the piano and just keeping him company, but it seemed like it meant a whole lot more than that to Jungkook.

 

Jungkook’s improvement was a painstakingly slow process and the changes in his personality were minimal, which made it clear to him that he had to take it to the next step in order to make good progress. Jungkook’s well being was what was most important on his priorities.

Taehyung found himself enjoying human life a lot and slightly forgetting his responsibilities. Sometimes when he got to induced in playing pieces for Jungkook or laughing until his sides hurt he began to forget that he had an intended purpose, and that his life wasn’t his to do what he wanted with it. 

 

That’s why he contacted Jimin. His comfortableness in his surroundings wasn’t healthy and he needed to distance himself from Jungkook before he ended up hurting them both.               

Jimin just sounded utterly relieved to hear Jungkook’s name spoken out loud, demanding to know his whereabouts after telling him that he hasn’t answered his phone for months and he’s been worried sick. He was about to file a missing person’s case until Jungkook’s father called him to tell him Jungkook was fine and just needed time to himself.  _ Bastard  _ Taehyung thought,  _ the last thing that kid needed was time alone with his thoughts, dammit.  _

 

“Jimin wants to see you,” Taehyung brought up casually as he let himself into Jungkook’s room, Jungkook lying on his bed, staring up at Taehyung with drained eyes, “He misses you.” 

 

Jungkook looked like he didn’t expect those last words, his mouth dropping agape. He slammed his palm over his open mouth, breathing in what would’ve been a sob. Jungkook still cried just as often, Taehyung didn’t know whether it was just a habit at this stage or whether Jungkook still felt equally as shitty on the inside. He hoped that wasn’t the case. 

 

“H-he wants to see me again?” Jungkook was gasping for air, he looked like he was about to pass out. Taehyung rushed to his side, holding his hand Jungkook held his tightly. 

 

“Ssshhhh, it’s okay, it’s okay. Everything is going to be just fine, alright? You are fine, you are safe. I’m right here with you,” this was something new that happened to Jungkook after his father said he was going to stop funding him. He freaks out when he feels too much, needing someone to tell him and remind him where he is. Taehyung was scared to leave his side, in case anything were to happen to him when he was gone. 

 

“Your friend misses you okay? That’s all, alright? No need to worry. Everything's alright. Do you want to see Jimin? It’s okay if you don’t,” Taehyung rubbed circles into his palm, he seemed to find that most calming. His breathing returned to a normal pace, his eyes being able to fixate once more. 

 

“I want to see him. I miss him too,” Jungkook paused, looking cautious before he spoke, “Can you come with me? I don’t...I don’t want to be alone.” 

 

“Sure,” he agreed, “But won’t he think I’m a bit odd wearing some mask? He might think you joined a cult during your absence.” 

 

Jungkook giggled, making Taehyung smile widely as a response.

 

“Then take it off,” Jungkook said with a more serious tone, his lips turning into a straight line. Taehyung didn’t know how he was so good with making a tense atmosphere with just a few words, but he did it without fault. It’s not like it was the first time he had asked with the question, it just felt like it meant other intentions this time. 

 

“No can do kiddo,” Taehyung chuckled, breaking the atmosphere by pinching the younger’s nose between his fingers, “Maybe in a few years.” 

 

“So you plan on staying with me? You’re not leaving?” Taehyung could see his lip quivering, knowing which answered he wanted but he wasn’t sure whether or not he could provide it. 

 

“I’ll always be with you,” Taehyung began, “Even if not physically, I’ll always be with you here.”

 

Taehyung poked where he imagined where Jungkook’s heart would be, smiling softly with his eyes closed, “That’s what matters, right?” 

 

\----

 

Jungkook wrote lyrics about how humans sometimes needed a place to escape, and sometimes you could find that escape within other people.

 

\--

 

Taehyung was honestly surprised to see that Jungkook made it to the café where they agreed to meet Jimin. Jungkook cried many times, backing out almost every other minute, Taehyung was sure he wasn't going to make it. But to see him, standing outside with a light smile on his face, he couldn't be more proud of him.

Taehyung knew how hard this was for him, knowing how little Jungkook trusts people and how hurt he was, he didn't expect him to be so brave. Jungkook was definitely growing and it made Taehyung’s heart feel so warm. 

 

“Are you ready?” Taehyung questioned, just to be sure. He never wanted to put Jungkook in a situation that he didn't want to be in, he always wanted him to feel safe and ready, not matter how long that took. He gave his shoulder a quick squeeze, just to remind him that he was there by his side the entire time. 

 

“I'm ready,” Jungkook had a determined look in his eye, like he was trying to prove something to himself, Taehyung couldn't ask for more. It was one thing doing things for Taehyung’s sake, but Jungkook wanting to live for himself felt so much more fulfilling. 

 

“This might seem weird but,” Jungkook stopped, staring at his feet, “Can you hold my hand? Only ‘til we see Jimin, after that you can let go.” 

 

Taehyung didn't question any further, taking Jungkook’s hand into his without any comment. Jungkook turned away when he did this, but Taehyung knew he was happy. Jungkook lead the way, being the one to open the café door without waiting. There was a small ding, alerting everyone there of their entrance. That's when Jungkook pulled his hand away, making Taehyung’s feel empty.

 

Taehyung didn't know what Jimin looked like, so he didn't know who he was keeping an eye out for. But when Jungkook sprinted in one direction, he really didn't have to question his identity. 

Jimin had a warm, friendly vibe just from his appearance, or maybe it was his orange hair that replicated flames.  _ He’s cute,  _ Taehyung thought, observing how his eyes disappeared into creases when he smiled. 

 

Jimin pulled himself out of his chair when he spotted Jungkook running towards him, Taehyung was surprised at this reaction, Jimin’s expression showed he felt the same. 

They didn't even talk, just jumping into each other's arms. Jimin didn't ask for an explanation for Jungkook’s absence, which Taehyung was extremely grateful for, he knew Jungkook would shut down if he did. 

 

“I missed you,” was the only words that were mildly associated to Jungkook going M.I.A., but no other words said about it. 

Jungkook was crying, but they were happy tears, you could tell by the smile that accommodated his watery eyes. 

For some reason Taehyung felt awkward about watching their embrace, feeling like he was seeing something he shouldn't. He awkwardly starting playing with the frays on his grey jumper, avoiding eye contact with the pair. 

 

“Are you the famous Taehyung?” Jimin addressed him first, offering him a grin. Taehyung shuffled closer, cursing his awkward attitude. Social encounters usually weren't a bother for the outgoing Kim Taehyung, but he was never put on the spot like this. 

 

“I guess,” was all he said before Jimin pulled him in for a half-hug, throwing his arm over Taehyung’s shoulder. 

 

“Thank you,” he whispered against his ear, “this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you.” 

 

Taehyung wasn't sure how to respond, so instead he said nothing and just nodded, but that seemed like enough. 

They all agreed on getting a drink before heading home, Taehyung volunteering to get everyone's orders. Honestly, he just wanted to give them some alone time. He really did want Jungkook to feel comfortable around Jimin once more, because he couldn't be purely reliant on Taehyung, even if he wanted him to be. 

Jimin was nice and caring, but also had a good sense of humour. Even though Jimin knew Jungkook first, Taehyung felt happy knowing that no matter what, Jungkook would never be alone.

That mattered a lot to him.

 

Taehyung noticed himself staring blankly at the water droplets that trickled down the condensated window, rather than paying attention to the conversation, it was just murmurs. He was lost in his own world of realisation, worrying about his own feelings and his own future. 

 

Taehyung knew he didn't have the right to be concerned about himself, because that shouldn't matter. But ever since he met Jungkook everything and anything seemed to  _ matter.  _ Nothing was irrelevant or minimal, everything had so much significance. Taehyung didn't like how much he was  _ feeling _ because it made him feel human. It made him feel like he was like everyone else, with their own life choices and decisions. 

 

It almost made Taehyung mad at Jungkook for throwing his life away at one point, because Jungkook didn't realise just how much Taehyung wanted what he had.

It was stupid jealousy, another thing he wasn't supposed to be feeling. He couldn't ignore the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach, at that point, he just wished, he wished, 

 

_ I wish that I couldn't feel anything at all.  _

 

_ \----- _

Jungkook wrote lyrics about rekindled friendships and how beautiful unspoken words were, because sometimes actions had more meaning than words.

 

\---

 

“I have a surprise,” Taehyung was giggling happily, covering Jungkook’s eyes with his hands. He had been secretive all day, dragging him around town saying he had real intentions, but Jungkook began to doubt this.

 

Suddenly he made him cover his eyes, walking him walk awkwardly in front of him down a street, bumping into his chest every so often and mumbling an apology. Taehyung was jumpy, making squeaking noises when they got closer. 

 

“You can open your eeeyyyeeeeeessss,” He dragged out, pushing him up a few more spaces, “Now.” 

 

Jungkook blinked, his eyes needed a moment to fixate and adjust to the new lighting, finding the sudden brightness harsh. Opening his eyes didn't make him any less confused than before, if anything, he understood the situation even  _ less.  _

 

“A toy store?” He couldn't hide the confusion in his voice, he couldn't bring himself to be excited even if he wanted to, purely because he just didn't understand. Oddly enough, it appeared that Taehyung wanted this exact reaction, smirking mischievously and grabbing Jungkook’s wrist and pulling him inside. 

 

Unbeknownst to Jungkook, it was a toy store with a giant floor piano. He cried at first, he cried a lot, so much that parents were redirecting  their kids away from the  _ ‘scary man’.  _ Taehyung was there to support him though, laughing at first, but then whispering words of encouragement into his ear.

 

They played Heart and Soul once more, this time Jungkook made it to the end. They hopped along the tiles, Taehyung laughing so hard that he botched a few notes, Jungkook playing better than he did. Jungkook was smiling so hard his jaw hurt, a new feeling of warmth in his heart. He hadn't felt it in a while, but he was pretty sure it was happiness.

 

He was sure his mother was watching him now, smiling. Even if he never got to have the experience with her, he kept her in mind the entire time. He believed that's what mattered. 

 

Taehyung thought Jungkook looked beautiful this happy, his eyes beaming with such genuine joy that he could make flowers grow. Taehyung couldn't pinpoint why, but it made his heart swell in pain. He didn't think that what he was doing was safe anymore. 

\---

 

Jungkook wrote lyrics about how simple surprises can change someone's life, and now you don't need money to make a difference.

 

\----

  
  


Jungkook couldn't understand why Taehyung was acting different recently, he was quiet and timid and didn't really like speaking at all. 

He didn't visit that often, but when he did, he wouldn't say a word. He would just play.

He played so beautifully, but all his songs were solemn. Even though his music was dull and sad, it brought so much colour into Jungkook’s life. Everything seemed so black and white before Jungkook met Taehyung, but every time he played, suddenly everything around him was brought to life. Jungkook could never describe that feeling. 

 

He was worried about Taehyung, but he never gave him the chance to ask, not until he took a break from playing one day, one day where he played continuously for hours until his fingers were trembling.

 

“Taehyung you need to stop,” Jungkook took Taehyung’s unsteady hands, holding them in his own, “You need to stop this.” 

 

“I'm fine,” Taehyung demanded, trying to put his hands on the keys once more, but Jungkook wouldn't allow it. He grabbed his wrists tightly, he didn't care if it hurt. It was for the better.

 

“What's wrong with you lately? I’m worried about you,” Jungkook watched him with sorry eyes, he didn't even know what was hurting Taehyung but he pitied him anyway. He was so used to Taehyung supporting him that this was really the least he could do in return. This, right now, was nothing compared to what he owed to Taehyung. He planned on paying him back, no matter how long that promise took to fulfil.

 

“Nothing,” Taehyung’s tone was flat, his eyes usually said everything but even Jungkook couldn't read them right now. Jungkook wanted to see his face now more than ever, just so he could know how he truly felt. Just to give him the slightest indication as to how he could help, but he couldn't. Taehyung's face was concealed like everything else about him, which made him realise he didn't really know Taehyung at  _ all.  _

 

“Don't lie to me. I'm not blind. Why won't you let me help you?” Taehyung tried covering his face with his hands then, but put Jungkook pulled them back, sitting them in his lap. 

 

“Stop,” it sounded almost like a threat. For the first time ever Jungkook felt threatened by him. His eyes were dark and hooded, his eyebrows furrowed in anger. It wasn't like him to be like this, Jungkook hated it. He liked smiles and ringing laughter, he liked soft humming and kind comforting words. That's what he was used to, but this, this was so foreign. 

 

“Stop what?” Taehyung never gave up in Jungkook in times of need and he planned on doing the exact same. If the cherry haired boy didn't like it, that would be quite hypocritical of him. He was at an obvious advantage here and had no intentions of backing down, Taehyung could sense that. So, he gave in. He told the truth. 

 

“Stop caring about me,” Taehyung burst into tears, his entire body crumpling, “You make me feel so many human emotions I can't  _ stand  _ it.” 

 

There was a long pause before either of them spoke, as if they both needed time to digest the words. The only thing that could be heard was light sobbing and the faint sound of car horns coming from the busy streets below. 

Jungkook didn't know what to say, he was so used to being comforted that he had forgotten how to comfort. His words cut through his heart like daggers, causing him to grip his own chest. 

 

“You are human to me.”

 

Taehyung slammed his clenched fist against the piano keys, an awful sound echoing through the almost empty apartment. It made them both flinch in unison, the sound wasn't exactly easy on the ears. 

 

“Stop it. I am _not_ human. I am _not_ allowed feel how you feel or do what you do. I can _not_ plan my future and work hard to achieve my dream job or anything like that. I am _not_ someone who can fantasise about their future family and partner. I am _not_ even able to have friends of my own. I look at you and Jimin and just fucking wish _that_ _I could have that._ But I can't. And it tears me apart, Jungkook. I want to stay with you and grow with you and just be someone with you but I _can't._ I don't want to be just some spirit to you, I want to be your friend. Is that…is that _too_ much to ask?” Taehyung looked so small. So vulnerable. He felt it, too. He wasn't expected to burst out like this, but he just couldn't keep it bottled up anymore. 

 

“Look at me,” Taehyung laughed lightly, “I'm a mess. Here I am for the purpose of helping you, but right now it's you helping  _ me _ .” 

 

“Everyone needs help sometimes. Spirit or not,” Jungkook slung one arm around his shoulder, sitting beside Taehyung on the stool. He leaned towards his ear, like he wanted to be sure that only he would hear his words, “For the record, you're the best friend I could ever ask for, okay? You're perfect in every way possible. Please never change, because I like  _ you  _ as  _ you _ .” 

 

\-----

 

Jungkook wrote lyrics about how sometimes people hide how they really felt behind smiles and laughs, and how you never really know someone, you only know yourself.

 

\-----

 

Jungkook didn't plan on letting Taehyung move from the couch and into his bed, it was more like something that slowly progressed over time. 

Jungkook would stay up late writing songs to himself when he would find Taehyung’s sleeping position nearing closer and closer to his bedroom.

At first, he slept on the couch, then on the floor, then outside his door, then on the carpet in his room and finally in his actual bed. 

For the first few nights Jungkook let him be and decidedly slept on the couch, like the good citizen he was. 

But after many nights of not a wink of sleep and aching back strains, he couldn't do it anymore.  

 

So, he did as any man would do, and got into bed with him. This lead into numerous nights just merely sleeping side by side. After a while, however, limbs began to tangle and bodies became one. Taehyung learnt that Jungkook liked sleeping on his chest, and that he likes stroking the smaller hairs that lie on Taehyung’s nape in order to soothe him into a sleep. 

 

Jungkook learnt that Taehyung was a cuddler, and clung to his body like a koala to a tree. He had an unbreakable grip, which really only became an issue when he needed to urgently pee in the mornings. 

 

\---

 

Jungkook wrote lyrics about skinship and early sheepish mornings.

 

\---

  
  


Jungkook was wrapped in copious of blankets, surrounding him making him resemble a comfy burrito. Only his head was poking out cutely, it squished his cheeks.

The flashes of images coming from the TV lit up his face and eyes, as he watched the screen intently. It was endearing, Taehyung couldn't help but watch. 

But something had been eating at Taehyung. He had kept it to himself for a while now, and couldn't help but wonder why he was keeping it from him, but, he feared the question would only set him off. But Jungkook had been having a solid streak, he couldn't even recall the last time he saw tears stain his cheeks. He liked him better smiling. 

 

“Jungkook,” Taehyung didn't continue- still unsure as to whether it was a good choice yet, but he decided to chance his arm, “What did…what caused the fight between you and Jimin?”

 

Jungkook swallowed, Taehyung could he his Adam’s apple go down roughly. He knew he messed up. Jungkook could feel his vision going blurry as he sat up, his blankets falling beside him. 

 

“I'm not doing this Tae,” He croaked, surprisingly the older boy with the shortened name, it was new. 

 

“That's okay,” Taehyung reassured, offering him a boxy smile even though he knew he couldn't see it, he could  _ feel  _ it, “As they say, curiosity killed the cat.” 

 

Jungkook was sniffling, try to somehow suck his tears back into his eye sockets, he didn't want to do this  _ again.  _ There was certain memories he was desperate to repress, but it was too late now. They already resurfaced, just to taunt him. He cursed under his breath, knowing he needed to vent his feelings  _ somehow _ . 

 

“Can you play for me?” Jungkook asked hopefully, knowing how whenever Taehyung did it, his mind was completely occupied by his music only. 

 

“Hm,” Taehyung put his hand to his chin in thought, he usually agreed immediately, “Only if your voice accompanies me.” 

 

Jungkook didn't know whether Taehyung thought this was going to be a big deal to him or something, but it really wasn't. He had been singing for various people most of his life, it didn't really make him nervous. He knew he could sing, that was obviously apparent, so what had he to be nervous about? Of course, knowing it was Taehyung he was performing for gave him temporary cold feet. 

 

“Okay,” Taehyung perked at the response, like he wasn't expecting him to agree so easily. Jungkook went to the corner of the room where he kept his music sheets in a folder, pulling it out and handing it to Taehyung without protest. 

 

“Nicki Minaj?” Taehyung raised a brow, looking at Jungkook like a madman, he did admit, the artist was  _ slightly  _ misleading. 

 

“This is one of her,” he stopped to think, “More  _ mellow  _ songs, you could say.” 

 

Taehyung sat himself on the stool in front of the piano, adjusting the music sheets into place. He cleared his throat and cracked his knuckles, letting Jungkook know he was ready. 

He began to play the opening, even he seemed surprised at the soft sound that came out. It made Jungkook snort. 

 

**_Am I just a fool?_ **

**_Blind and stupid for loving you?_ **

 

Taehyung gasped slightly, not expecting Jungkook’s voice to be so sweet and  _ pretty.  _ It was only two lines and Taehyung was captured, his entire body being consumed by the bitter sweetness of the song. He didn't know playing piano with a voice accompanist could feel so fulfilling. 

 

**_Am I just a silly girl?_ **

**_So young and naïve to think you were,_ **

**_The one who came and to take claim of this heart,_ **

**_Cold-hearted, shame you’ll remain just a frame in the dark._ **

 

Taehyung knew these lyrics were more than just lyrics to Jungkook. The way his face scrunched up when he sang, the way his voice crumbled at keywords, he felt these words as if they were emotions. 

 

**_The people are talking, the people are saying that you have been playing my heart._ **

 

Jungkook stopped, leaving Taehyung confused when he began playing the notes and no voice joined him. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his face was drained of colour. His knees were wobbling, so he decided to just let them fall. Taehyung leaped out of his stool, keeping Jungkook up right. 

 

“Jungkook?” Panic filled Taehyung’s voice. Jungkook’s eyes were fixated on nothing, it was like he wasn't even there. It terrified him to the point where he started rocking him, trying to bring him back to the present. 

 

“You know the way you asked why Jimin and I fought?” His voice was flat, even he was feeling the entire world right now you wouldn't know about it. 

 

“Jungkook you don't have to-”

 

“I want to,” he cut him off, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He rested his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder, just to confirm that he was definite. 

 

“I had a boyfriend,” he began, gulping, “Jimin never liked him. He said he gave him  _ ‘bad vibes’  _ which at the time, I thought was stupid. But Jimin has always had a good intuition. We were together for just over two years, and frankly, I thought I was in love, whatever ‘love’ is. I believed I had reached that. Jimin told me that he thought he saw someone who had an uncanny resemblance to him out with another guy, which I refused to believe. I yelled at Jimin and called him jealous for trying to ruin my relationship, when in reality, he was just trying to help. He left without yelling back, he just gave me and pitiful smile and said  _ ‘good luck’ _ and left _.  _ I didn't know how to feel about that. The next day I left for work, expecting not to be home until late, but that was the day I got fired. I came back to find him with another guy- in _ my  _ bed and everything, he didn't even have the decency to do it somewhere else. He didn't pull the usual  _ ‘this isn't what it looks like’  _  because he didn't even try not deny it. He just told it to me straight that he had been with this man before our relationship even started. And that was that. He left without another word said and that day I felt like- I felt like I lost everything. I sat against that couch for God knows how long, I don't even know what I was waiting for. But then, I met you, a grown man creeping on my balcony raving on about how he was a spirit here to help.” 

 

Taehyung chucked at the last sentence after keeping a sincere face throughout Jungkook’s explanation, “that was meant to happen, you finding out, I mean. God was done with your boyfriend’s trashy ass and decided to remove him from your life. You don't need someone like that, you deserve someone who treasures everything single part of you, and every second they spend with you. No one less than that is worth your time- because you are a beautiful human. That is what you deserve in my eyes.” 

 

Jungkook was smiling widely, he had a gorgeous smile, the kind that radiated happiness and made everyone around him grin without even realising it. Taehyung was glad he got to witness it. 

 

“You're too nice to me,” Jungkook laughed, scratching the back of his head, “I don't think I could live without you.” 

 

Taehyung froze, standing up quickly.

 

“Don't say things like that,” he snapped, “I'm barely even real, don't linger too long on me. I'm not even human, focus on what matters, Jungkook.” 

 

“You matter me to me,” Taehyung sighed, he knew he would respond with something like this. Jungkook’s attachment to him was getting dangerous, he was fully aware of that. He couldn't bring himself to stay away from Jungkook, knowing that would only make him sad. He didn't really have a choice anymore. Taehyung wanted Jungkook to care about him and like him, if they were under different circumstances. But Taehyung was here to make him happy, not the other way around. 

 

“I wish I could see your smile,” Jungkook commented randomly, staring up at Taehyung with so many emotions he couldn't read them all, “I'm sure it would be as pretty as your laugh.”

 

Jungkook’s words stung Taehyung’s heart, each word hurting him differently. Jungkook’s head was too far in the clouds, he just didn't understand.

 

“Do you want to know the real reason why I wear this mask?” Taehyung asked him suddenly, a tinge of anger and sadness mixing in his voice.

 

“Why?” 

 

“Because,” his voice was shaking, “It’s to remind myself and you that I'm not human, if you can see how I look and how I feel then I'm just like everyone else. I want it to be clear to you that I'm different. I hide behind here because I'm too afraid to get too immersed in this world. This mask is the barrier between me and you, and as soon as it's gone all be in too deep to pull myself out again, don't you  _ understand? _ ” 

 

_ I don't understand,  _ Jungkook thought,  _ I don't understand why you just don't abandon your mask and live as a human. Sure, you age slower but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Why don't you just forget your responsibilities? I'm already happy, it's being with you that makes me happy. You give yourself to music so effortlessly, playing those notes and forgetting the entire world exists. You don't worry about whether you're human or not, or whether the music cares about you or not, you give yourself to it anyway. You spend hours on perfecting notes and fixing your timing and you get mad when you mess up, that seems pretty unspirit like to me. If maybe, I could change the way you think and feel, make me seem as simple and effortless as music is, if then, would you… _

 

_ Give yourself to me?  _

 

_ \--- _

 

Jungkook didn't write lyrics that night. He couldn't lace sentences with his feelings.

\---

 

“Jimin invited us to his talent show performance today,” Jungkook chimed in casually as he was picking up dirty dishes from the kitchen table and bringing them to the sink. To this day, he doesn't know when or how Taehyung eats or drinks- considering he's never seen him do it. 

 

“Ouhhhh~  Our Jiminie can sing?” Taehyung held his face in his hands, batting his eyelashes in awe. 

 

“Yup,” Jungkook turned on the tap, beginning to scrub the grime off the used plates, “There's gonna be a lot of talent scouts there, he's hoping to impress them.” 

 

“I look forward to it, when is it?” Jungkook turned off the tap then, offering him an apologetic smile.

 

“Todaaaaaay,” he dragged out the word, knowing the pink haired boy would give out to him for not warning him sooner, which, he did. He got even more mad when he found out he had to wear something fancy, because apparently this wasn't just any  _ old _ talent show- it was some upperclass shit. Jungkook noticed that Taehyung’s fashion sense was rather odd, as it fluctuated a lot. Some days he’d be wearing pants so skinny Jungkook wonders if his legs are losing their blood circulation, usually with a leather jacket. Then the next day he could show up weary baggy clothes with holes scattered all over them with dorky sandals, there was no in between.

 

Jungkook didn't even know when or wear Taehyung got these clothes from, all he knew was that he would show up every morning with clothes he has never seen before. He wondered if Taehyung snook off every night and ate, got dressed and came back. It wouldn't really surprise him all that much. 

 

As suspected, Taehyung left the apartment for an hour and returned wearing a black shirt with the first button undone and dress pants, though the mask made it slightly  _ less  _ classy.

Even though Jungkook was dressed head to toe in a suit, he still felt like a peasant standing next to Taehyung, he just had that essence about him. 

He had such a nice build, broad shoulders and long legs, you didn't even need to see his face to label him as handsome, which Jungkook certainly did. 

 

Taehyung didn't know what was happening his eyeballs, he couldn't remove them from Jungkook’s thighs. Before now, Jungkook could have had noodles for legs and Taehyung wouldn't have noticed, since he always wanders around in pyjamas. 

But now, his pants were hugging his butt and legs nicely and suddenly Taehyung’s mouth was dry like sand paper. He blinked a couple of times, managing to draw his attention away, finally. 

 

“Jimin’s waiting outside,” Jungkook mumbled, avoiding eye contact with the older man, “He’s giving us a lift.” 

 

\--

 

“Ah! Taehyung-ah! Still wearing that mask, eh? Thought that was a one time thing, no?” Jimin’s arm was resting against the window sill, his head popping out of it.

 

“It's kinda my thing Jimin, don't question my  _ style _ ,” Taehyung was giggling, waving his neck sassily as he approached the car.

 

“Never do that again,” Jungkook commented in disgust from behind the pair, which just made them both laugh. Taehyung sat in the back seat, Jungkook following him. 

 

“No one's sitting beside me?” Jimin sniffled, making his voice sarcastically upset, “That’s  _ fine _ .” 

 

“So you're a singer?” Taehyung asked him, changing the subject. Jimin smiled at him through the mirror knowingly. 

 

“Yeah, amongst many things, I'm a multi-talented man you see~” Jimin was teasing but it made them both chuckle, whether it was genuine or just a pity laugh was left unknown. The sun was shining in from outside, making the leather seats stick to their backs uncomfortably, Taehyung hoped the event wasn't too far. 

 

“So this is a big deal then?” 

 

“You could say that,” Jimin shrugged, changing the gear stick, “It’s an opportunity more than anything, if I don't get it then it wasn't meant to be, that's how I see it.” 

 

It was then when Taehyung realised that Jimin and Jungkook were  _ nothing _ alike.

 

\--

 

The event was busy, filled with many people hoping to grab the talent scouts’ attention. It was stuffy and crowded waiting in line in an enclosed hallway, it wasn't exactly a bundle of fun. But Taehyung supposed that this is what friends did for each other, not that he was speaking from experience. Taehyung refused to gain friends because it made everything far too complicated, but he felt like doing things you weren't completely happy about to support your friends was what friendship was about. 

 

Jimin looked happy, a small nervous smile on his face, his temple matted with sweat. He dabbed it with a cloth every few minutes, insisting that he needed to ‘look good’ and not like he was trying to squeeze out a hard shit. 

Jungkook looked more worried than Jimin was, biting his lip and his eyes darting around the room cautiously. It was clear that something was bothering him, but he didn't want to bring it up around Jimin. He didn't want to throw him off. 

 

“Right, everyone who is performing is to head back stage now, so you guys can go get your seats inside, I hope to see you in the front row,” Jimin winked at the pair, waving to them as he skipped backwards until he couldn't be seen anymore. He was a bit odd, but Taehyung liked weird, considering he was weirder. 

 

“Good luck Jimin!” Taehyung was screaming at his trailing body, waving his arms frantically to get his attention. Jimin probably smiled. 

 

Taehyung and Jungkook got their seats, they were in the front row even though Jimin joked about it. Taehyung rammed down the crowds, not caring who he had to take down to get those seats, Jungkook was nearly in tears at how ridiculous he was being. 

 

“You're enthusiastic,” Jungkook commented, adjusting himself in his seat. Taehyung couldn't see him in the dimly lit room, but he supposed he was smiling.

The entire room was buzzing, each having different predictions about who would get noticed and who wouldn't, it was oddly intense. 

 

“I'm nervous,” Taehyung muttered, massaging his own hands as a distraction, “If he doesn't get noticed I think I will cry on the spot.” 

 

“Don't worry about it,” The younger spoke confidently, “I’ve seen Jimin perform many times before. He has the tendency to get everyone's attention without trying.” 

 

He wasn't lying, Taehyung felt like falling asleep before Jimin came on. Sure, everything was talented, be it their voice or musical instrument of choice, but no one differed to anyone else. None of it was new or exciting, all of it equally as average as the person before. 

But then Jimin waltz on stage, his suit hugging his small body nicely. He stepped up to the microphone and smiled before beginning. His presence made everyone go silent.

 

It was the atmosphere he created, his smooth body language made it impossible to look away. He sang slowly and sweetly, closing his eyes and truly feeling the words that he sang, he was amazing. All he had to do was stand, and sing, and he had immediately outdone everyone who walked out before him.

Taehyung pitied any poor soul who had to walk out after him, there was no way he wouldn't be noticed by every talent scout. 

Jimin spotted them in the crowd, giving them a small wave and wide cheerful smile before shuffling off stage, he left everyone on their feet clapping. 

 

“Oh Thank God,” Jungkook breathed out, sounding relieved, “I’ve needed to pee for like- half an hour but I didn't want to miss Jimin, I'll be make in a minute.” 

 

Jungkook awkwardly scuttled out of the row, his legs tightly pressed together making him waddle like a penguin to the bathroom, making Taehyung chuckle. 

 

Jungkook didn't know the sweet relief of emptying your bladder until that day, seeing as no one else was in the stalls, he sang happily to himself. He was singing one of his own songs that he was working on, one he purely wrote to keep himself smiling. The tune of it always seemed to find his lips whenever he had something to be really happy about. 

He sang happily as he scrubbed his hands, swaying his hips slightly. He stopped his movements completely when the high note came, putting of all his attention into it. He could feel his stomach bubbling, he was in a  _ really  _ good mood.

He could have sworn he nearly peed himself again when he heard the lock of the stall behind him click.

 

_ How did I not hear you come in?  _

 

He face was flushed red when the man walked out, a repressed smile on his face.

Jungkook went stiff, trying to casually wash his hands, trying to ignore the fact that he was singing his heart out even though they both knew it.

 

“I'm sorry about that I-I didn't realise you were, uhm, in there and I,” Jungkook was stuttering, his blush creeping down his neck. He stared at his feet, refusing to know the identity of the person he accidentally forced his performance upon. 

 

“You have a really good voice,” the man commented, his voice younger than Jungkook expected, “I was waiting to hear Park Jimin before I went to the bathroom, but you have real talent too. Why didn't you perform?” 

 

Jungkook’s mouth fell agape, he wasn't sure if he could blush more than he already was without his blood vessels popping out of his skin. He awkwardly pulling tissues out of the dispenser, trying to hide how embarrassed he was.

 

“Uh t-thanks?” He didn't know why it came out as a question, facepalming after the words slipped his lips, “I guess I'm working on stuff...so I'll wait for another one...maybe?”

 

Jungkook was just making excuses, he had no intentions of entering a talent show any time soon, he just didn't have a proper explanation. 

 

“The song you were singing,” the man continued, “Did you write it?” 

 

Jungkook scratched the back of his neck, finally letting his eyes land on the man’s face. He was shorter than he expected, a beanie covering his ashy grey hair, but he wasn't old at all. Jungkook felt like he had seen him before, but he couldn't pinpoint where. 

 

“Uh, yeah, I did.” 

 

The man nodded, looking impressed. He reached into pocket and pulled out a card, handing it to Jungkook. He didn't have time to read the contents before he began explaining. 

 

“My name is Min Yoongi- more commonly known as Suga. I'm a producer and music company CEO. Today, however, I'm a talent scout,” he reached out his hand to shake Jungkook’s, “You are?”

 

“Jeon Jeongguk, but I mean people call me Jungkook. I- uh- nice to meet you?

 

Jungkook was lucky he didn't pass out there and then.

 

\--

 

“WHAT!?” Jimin was yelling, they went back to the apartment to celebrate Jimin’s performance, and that he got a music deal with the same Suga Jungkook bumped into in the bathroom. But Jungkook decided to leave his own news until the depth of the night, when each of them were a tad tipsy, “YOU GOT SIGNED WITHOUT PERFORMING?!” 

 

“No, no, no,” Jungkook tried waving his hands but ended up smacking Taehyung’s arm, “I have to perform, naturally, but as long as that goes well I’m signed.” 

 

Jimin crossed his arms, pursing his lips, “Jungkookie- always getting special treatment for being good at  _ everything _ .” 

 

Taehyung was crying softly to himself, a mix of alcohol and pride surging through his veins. He was an emotional drunk, so for Jungkook to be achieving his dreams right before his eyes was definitely going to trigger the water works. He had seen Jungkook at his worst, to see him grow from where he was to who he is now was just unfathomable to him. 

Jungkook stroked his back, not really knowing what his was comforting for.

 

“My Jungkook is growing up so fast,” he was sobbing, bringing his knees against his chest, cradling himself.

 

“I have a problem, though. He wants me to do a slow piano song. I mean, I can play a little but not the extent that would be worth an audition,” Jungkook slumped, a solemn look on his face. Taehyung wanted to slap him.

 

“I'll do it,” Taehyung said, flicking Jungkook’s forehead. He looked genuinely offended, like everything they went through was betrayed by a mere flick. 

 

“You play piano?” Jimin was shoving a recently ordered pizza in his mouth, looking at him with mild shock.

 

“Yup,” Taehyung reached for a slice, about to attempt to put it in his mouth when Jungkook stopped.

 

“How do you plan on eating that with your mask on?” He laughed taking the pizza from his hand, putting it back in the box. Taehyung pouted, no that it mattered what he did with his mouth, no one would see it anyway.

 

“I wasn't thinking straight, I was about to take it off,” Taehyung gasped to himself, covering his mouth as if it had been exposed, “What shame, eh, Jungkook?”

 

“No,” he spat bluntly, “I’m glad you didn’t.” 

 

Taehyung paused, “Do you not want to see my face?” 

 

_ No  _ Jungkook thought,  _ I do, more than anything. But I want to be the first, and to be alone. Jimin is here and he is facing you, I don't want him to see you before I do.  _

 

**_“_ ** _ I want to see all of you. _ **_”_ **

 

**_\--_ **

Jungkook wrote that night about the beauty of a personality, and how sometimes looks didn't mean a single thing.

 

\---

 

Jungkook couldn't sleep that night. Even though Taehyung was snoozing softly beside him, he couldn't keep his eyes closed.

He watched Taehyung longingly, he was a beautiful human or, er, well, spirit, it made him easy to watch.

His hair fell over his closed eyes, almost covering his perfect eyebrows that captured his face. Jungkook knew he could take off his mask now, and he probably wouldn't wake up and he probably never find out about it, but he didn't. He respected Taehyung’s wishes, no matter how much it made him want to burst inside. He just wanted to complete the puzzle in his head of what made Taehyung,  _ Taehyung.  _

What was underneath wouldn't change anything, no matter what it didn't out to be, Jungkook didn't care about that. 

 

Jungkook adored his personality and weird tendencies, he felt like this was the only thing left that he couldn't fully give his heart to because he didn't know what it was. He just wanted to love Taehyung as a whole, not just a part of him. What he was hiding underneath would never, ever change that. He placed his pointer finger on the fabric of the mask, his finger tracing Taehyung’s nose. It didn't really tell him anything, but it still felt like he was meeting a part of Taehyung he never witnessed before. 

 

“Get your finger off my nose you'll make me sneeze,” Taehyung groaned, making Jungkook jump, “Why aren't you asleep already? Sheesh, how old are you?” 

 

He turned around then, snaking his arms around Jungkook’s waist and pulling him into his chest. Jungkook sighed, his eyes fluttering shut, welcoming the embrace. Taehyung was warm and soft, it matched his personality. 

 

“Will you sleep now?” Taehyung buried his face into the nape of his neck.

 

“Mmhhmmm.” 

 

\---

 

Taehyung was lying on the couch, his hands hitting his tummy as if it was a drum. He was wearing a white jumper with holes all over it, Jungkook’s least preferred side of his fashion sense, especially since he was wearing the sandals. 

 

“This is the song I'm doing for my audition on Monday, I just thought we could practise a few times beforehand, just to make sure it's spot on,” Jungkook was handing Taehyung music sheets, making him moan sheepishly.

 

“I is tired.” 

 

“Well you is going to play for me because you did promise,” Jungkook hit him on the head with the sheets, making him whine even more. He slid off the couch, practically dragging himself to the piano with the music sheets clutched in one hand. 

 

“This piece isn't even  _ hard _ ,” Taehyung huffed, puffing his cheeks out in annoyance. If Jungkook practised enough, he could probably nail this. It wasn't the most trying song, and the notes are repeatedly quite a bit, in reality, Taehyung wasn't need that much.

 

“Well I sing better with you playing, it makes me more determined,” he sat down on the floor beside Taehyung, looking up at him, “Besides I wanted you there for moral support, I couldn't have you watching me in the crowd, that would put me off. I prefer you playing  _ with  _ me, not just supporting me. I wouldn't be here without you, anyway.” 

 

\----

 

Jungkook wrote lyrics about wanting to succeed, and wanting to make the one you love most proud, and how it was beautiful to succeed together. 

 

\---

 

Jungkook was jiggling about the whole car ride, like his body had the inability to sit still. He twiddle his thumbs, played with fraying strings on the cuff of his shirt, whatever could distract him. 

Taehyung eyed him from the driver’s seat, questioning whether or not Jungkook was really ready for this. He couldn't mess this opportunity up, there was no second chances anymore, this  _ was  _ his second chance. 

 

He sat in his black suit, being told b Yoongi that the event was, in fact, formal. It wasn't just going to be him watching, it was going to be a whole load of staff from the company, just to make it feel like a real performance. This fact didn't put Jungkook off, he had performed in front of so many people that it didn't change the situation. He was just terrified of messing up, or not being good enough for his standard. 

Taehyung could tell he was eating away at himself, so he placed his hand on his knee, squeezing it lightly. 

 

“You’ll be okay,” he reassured, “You’re going to do great.” 

 

Jungkook breathed out, feeling relieved that the intense silence was broken, it just left him with his own thoughts bringing him down, “Do you really have to wear the mask? They might think I'm weird if I bring a pianist who refuses to show their face.” 

 

Taehyung laughed at the excuse, like _ that  _ of all things was gonna work. He even had a hopeful innocent smile on his face,  _ that little shit.  _ Taehyung did intend on showing his face eventually, but today was not going to be that day. 

 

“Nope,” he shrugged, “You’re the one who decided to bring the weird pianist.” 

 

Jungkook fell back into the leather seat, feeling a sigh of defeat. He started rooting through the contents of the car, trying to distract himself of his upcoming performance. He flicked through random papers and manuals, not that he really cared how the car worked. He even examined pieces of trash, not that he actually had any interest in it, it was just more fun than freaking himself out.

 

“Hey,” Taehyung swatted at him, “This is Jimin’s car, I don't think he'd appreciate us giving it back to him with his stuff everywhere.”

 

Jungkook pouted, crossing his arms and staring blankly out the window, “Then talk to me.” 

 

Taehyung glanced at him, watching how his fingers trembled against his arm. 

 

“Nerves?” He questioned, trying not to sound worried. If Jungkook knew he was concerned, it would most likely only freak him out more. He hoped if he remained chill, then so would Jungkook.

But in reality, Taehyung’s heart was ready to leap out of his chest. He knew his only job was to accompany Jungkook’s voice and that his role didn't matter much, but he didn't want to mess up, he wanted Jungkook’s performance to be flawless. 

 

He could feel his hands becoming slippery on the steering wheel, he could feel his legs shifting uncomfortably under him. Not only that, but he never performed in front of anyone than Jungkook, he didn't know how he dealt with stage stage fright. 

 

All of that didn't seem to matter as soon as they pulled up outside the building, Taehyung’s sole purpose becoming only to support and comfort a very nervous Jungkook. The Min Yoongi, or more so, Suga, came to greet them outside. He showed them to the room where they would be performing, failing to mention of it was going to be filled with people in 15 minutes time.

 

They got in a few practise runs that went perfectly smoothly, which made Jungkook more comfortable in the situation. He had stopped tapping his thigh nervously, he was able to look out into the empty crowd instead of staring at his feet. He knew he couldn't appear as an anxious mess even if that's what he felt inside, they would think less of him then. 

 

He watched Taehyung ready at his piano for comfort when the rest of Yoongi’s staff started pouring in, everyone looking equally as intimidating and professional. Yoongi entered last, giving the pair a supportive thumb’s up before finding himself a seat in the front row. 

 

Taehyung waited for Jungkook’s cue, he waited until he was entirely ready himself. He watched as the younger boy took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes tightly shut before opening them again with an intense determination that Taehyung had never witnessed in him before. He always seemed like he was on the verge of giving up, so to see him so motivated and eager made Taehyung smile.

 

He nodded at Taehyung, giving him his cue to start. He did. 

 

**_You are the Avalanche,_ **

**_One world away._ **

 

Taehyung heard Jungkook sing those words so many times, but it wasn't like this before. It wasn't overflowing with emotion and meaning, it didn't strike his heart so hard to the point where he felt like he needed to vomit. This time it was different, and Taehyung was too overwhelmed, he didn't know how much he could take before he lost focus. 

 

**_My make believing,_ **

**_While I'm wide awake._ **

 

**_Just a trick of light,_ **

**_To bring me back around again._ **

**_Those wild eyes,_ **

**_A psychedelic silhouette._ **

 

Taehyung could feel his heart pounding in his chest, he could feel his pulse pumping in his ears. He thought he might pass out, hearing Jungkook’s sweet and utterly flawless voice sing with such raw emotion had more effect on him then he would like. He tried to remain calm, calm for Jungkook. He couldn't let his way too human-like emotions ruin a long term opportunity for Jungkook, especially when he wasn't. 

 

**_I never meant to fall for you but I,_ **

**_Was buried underneath and all that I could see was white._ **

 

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my,_ **

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my._ **

 

Taehyung on nothing, glancing up at Jungkook. His face was gleaming and his eyes scrunched as he sang, his words feeling directed towards him and he couldn't stand it. His brain was going fuzzy and it gradually became more difficult concentrate on his keys, they all seemed to blur together. His mind was a clusterfuck of emotions that were impossible to make sense of, all he knew was that he cared about Jungkook more than he ever should have. 

 

**_You are the snowstorm,_ **

**_I'm purified._ **

**_The darkest fairytale,_ **

**_In the dead of night._ **

 

Jungkook was watching him with concerned eyes then, Taehyung offered him a warm smile, he didn't want to distract him on what could possibly be the most important performance of his entire life. 

 

**_And let the band play out,_ **

**_As I'm making my way home again._ **

**_Glorious we transcend,_ **

**_Into a psychedelic silhouette._ **

 

**_I never meant to fall for you but I,_ **

**_Was buried underneath and all that I could see was white._ **

 

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my,_ **

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my,_ **

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my._ **

 

It was Jungkook’s highnote, which also indicated Taehyung’s upcoming piano solo. His palms were sweating like crazy and the ugly lump that had formed in his throat just got bigger and bigger. He winced, trying to power through, but as Jungkook’s flawless note struck his ears he couldn't stop himself from bursting into tears. His vision went blurry, helplessly trying to continue playing as there was no vocals backing him up anymore, but he couldn't do it. 

 

Jungkook was watching him, he could feel him burning holes in his skin. The whole room was watching him as he sobbed, playing weird sounds that didn't exactly match the music previously. He was slightly off, but everyone could notice. This only upset him more, immediately believing that he had ruined Jungkook’s chances. 

 

He managed to get himself back together for Jungkook’s last couple of lines, heaving a sigh of relief. 

 

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my,_ **

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my,_ **

**_My salvation,_ **

**_My, my._ **

 

Taehyung escaped to the bathroom as he couldn't confront Jungkook. 

 

Suga decided to sign Jungkook anyway. He liked that he was able to carry on perfectly even when his pianist fucked up, he said it made him respect his ability to keep it together. Jungkook cried out of happiness, and so did Taehyung when he finally reemerged from the bathroom. 

 

They didn't discuss Taehyung’s breakdown, they were too happy and busy celebrating to focus on the incident too much. 

 

\---

 

Jungkook wrote lyrics about happiness. Pure happiness.

 

\----

 

Jungkook swung, feeling nothing but sheer joy as the crisp night air filled his lungs. He kicked his legs high, hoping to reach as high as possible, but he was really ignoring the voice nagging him in his head. 

The voice was getting louder recently, one yelling at him that he couldn't avoid his current problem forever. And when he looked to his side, seeing Taehyung swing timidly, he couldn't look over it anymore. 

 

“You're not going to be with me forever, are you?” He swallowed hard, feeling tears threaten to leave his eyes. Taehyung flinched twice at the question, like they were two slaps in the face.

 

“I'm here now,” he looked at him warmly, cocking his head, “That's what matters.” 

 

“Not but seriously. You can't leave me hanging like that.”

 

Taehyung knew this was true, Jungkook deserved to know the truth, if he didn't, the inevitable end to their relationship would only hurt more. But Taehyung didn't want that to be truth, if he said it out out loud, that only seemed to confirm things, like he accepted it that way. That's what was stopping him, that's what was keeping his jaw locked shut. To say nothing would be selfish, he was well aware of that. 

 

“No,” he confirmed, “I’m not. I can't promise you a lie, no matter how hard I, myself, wish it was true. We’re cursed Jungkook, you can't have me and I can't have you. Maybe we'll be reborn in a new life and be more fortunate. But- it's only because it's dangerous for you. You need to surround yourself with real people and real relationships. I'll have to leave, please don't come looking for me. You’ll gain nothing from being hung up on someone who barely even existed in the first place.”

 

Taehyung’s blunt use of words was on purpose, he wanted it to be quick and fast, like ripping off a bandaid. He spoke like it didn't bother him, but the storm inside his mind and the large lump in his throat argued with his voice. He cared so much for the boy staring at him with hurt eyes, he cared  _ too  _ much. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much he deserved the world, but the world didn't deserve him. He wasn't afraid to admit these things anymore, because they didn't change anything. His feelings didn't matter, unlike humans. Their feelings had a huge impact on their life, because they got to chose what they did with those feelings. Taehyung didn't have that privilege. 

 

“You have no right to tell me what to do or what I should consider real or not,” Jungkook was blubbering, “because what I feel for you, and the time I spent with you, that's the  _ realest  _ thing I have ever felt.” 

 

Suddenly Taehyung felt like he was going to be sick, just to get rid of the that lump invaded his throat, blocking his words. He couldn't do it anymore. He was going to give up his responsibilities and give Jungkook what he wanted, only because he wanted that too.

 

“I'll stay as long as you need me.” 

 

“I'll always need you.”

 

“I know,” Taehyung breathed out heavily, “That’s what scares me.” 

 

\--

 

Jungkook wrote about love, and how it had no boundaries. He wrote about how it made people think and do crazy things, but maybe that wasn't always bad.

 

\---

 

Things were weird after that, in an unexplainable sense. Everything was great, Jungkook was writing songs for Yoongi and Taehyung played his piano. Everything was  _ too _ good, like they were both waiting for something bad to happen.

They were two people well used to disappointment, so when things were going rather smoothly with both of them getting what they wanted, they couldn't help but feel on edge.

 

“Do you like noodles?” Taehyung called out from the kitchen, a China blue apron tied around his waist, Jungkook scoffed.

 

“What kind of human  _ doesn't  _ like noodles?” Jungkook sounded genuinely appalled that he would ask that kind of question.

 

“True,” Taehyung took a deep breath, ripping the noodle packet open, “Hey Jungkook?”

 

“Yeah?” 

 

Taehyung swallowed, feeling his stomach churn uncomfortably. He poured the noodles into a pot, trying to ignore how his hands were shaking. 

 

“There's uhm, a festival tonight in town. Y’know markets and rides and stuff, food too,” he paused to stir, Jungkook was waiting silently for him to elaborate, “Do you want to come with me?” 

 

Jungkook clicked his tongue, standing up, wandering towards Taehyung. He played with some random food items on the counter, turning vegetables over, it was all aimless. He turned to him, hovering just a couple of metres away. 

 

“Jung-” he stopped, feeling two hands rest lightly on his hips, making him take in a sharp breath. Jungkook pulled him backwards into his chest, his grip on him tightening. His rested his head in the crook of his neck, he could feel his lips turning upwards, smiling into his skin. 

 

“Sure,” he pecked Taehyung’s nape, making him drop the wooden spoon he was holding into the pot. He let out a noise, it was only a small gasp, he was just grateful for not embarrassing himself. 

Jungkook smirked to himself, pulling away from him and lying back down on the couch, like nothing ever happened.

Even thirty minutes later, both of them sitting down for dinner, Taehyung’s skin was still tingling. 

 

\----

 

Jungkook did accompany Taehyung to the festival that night, he didn't know Taehyung's real reasoning behind it, and he wasn't ever going to. 

 

Taehyung held his hand the entire night, no matter how squished they got by crowds or how sweaty their palms became, he refused to let go of him. They ate market food and played stupid games they knew were damn well rigged, but the fun times had with them made it worth it. Taehyung even got in an argument with one of the game owners, refusing to believe he had not won, he didn't give in until he got his desired bunny teddy. He gave it to Jungkook afterwards, claiming he wanted it so bad due to their uncanny resemblance

 

There was lanterns being lit and lifted into the sky, lighting up the night in a beautiful way. They were in swarms, like large sparkling fireflies in the night sky. 

 

‘ **_I want to live on together with my bunny’_ ** Is what Taehyung wrote, telling Jungkook that he was indirecting him. Jungkook smiled, resembling his new teddy all too well. 

 

**_‘I want to live on together with my spirit’_ ** is what Jungkook wrote, he didn't even need to tell Taehyung that it was about him, he knew. 

 

They set them off into the sky, and Taehyung didn't take his eyes off his until it was completely out of sight. He wanted to believe that the lantern would grant his wish, but he knew he was being naive. He felt Jungkook squeeze his hand tighter, offering him a kind smile. He always seemed to know when something was bothering him, he didn't even have to word it.

 

They watched the fireworks disperse into sky, crackling as the colour faded and fell to the ground. Taehyung thought Jungkook looked stunning with the reflections of the fireworks dancing across his skin, illuminating all his features. His eyes were shimmering, so wide and pretty. 

 

Taehyung thought he was in love in that moment, whatever love meant.

 

\---

 

They got home late that night, both of them finding themselves sitting on the floor, in the same position where Taehyung had comforted him before. It was when Jungkook cried about not being able to write songs and play piano, and to look at him now. 

 

Jungkook analysed Taehyung’s golden skin, each curve and each turn seemed to fit into each other perfectly. Taehyung’s face was a puzzle, except there was no missing pieces and not a single piece was bent or chipped. It was flawless.

Well, the top half was. The second half was covered by that black mask he had come to hate, not because it looked bad on him, just because it covered everything Jungkook wanted to see. A simple piece of fabric was the barrier between them two, of course he was going to despise it more than anything else. 

 

Something felt different now, being the close to Taehyung. Usually by now he would already warn him not to touch it, keep his hand securely on the straps wrapped around his ear, but now he just tentatively watched him, his hands on his lap.

Jungkook leaned slightly, making Taehyung flinch. Jungkook stopped, he didn't want to make Taehyung uncomfortable or uneasy, he always wanted to secure that he felt safe. Taehyung nodded at him, letting him know that he was okay. This made Jungkook smile.

 

Jungkook placed his hand lightly on his cheek, brushing soft pieces of hair out of the way. He could feel the black fabric under his skin, a part of him just wanted to rip it off and burn it, but for Taehyung’s sake, he refrained from doing so. 

He slipped his finger under the string that attached it to his ear, lifting it up lightly, watching Taehyung’s expressions the entire time. Taehyung’s breath hitched, balling his fists in his lap. He fluttered his eyes shut, waiting to feel the fresh air on his bare skin, but Jungkook was stalling his movements. 

 

Even when it was completely pulled off his ear, Jungkook held it up with his pinkie finger, yet to expose his face. Jungkook wanted this so bad, he wanted to make sure Taehyung was okay with it too. Jungkook loved Taehyung, he had fallen in love with his personality. Whatever Taehyung had under that mask changed nothing, Jungkook just wanted to fall in love with every atom that consisted of Taehyung. The entire surface of his skin, every side of his personality, Jungkook wanted to witness it all. But he couldn't do that if a part of him was hidden.

 

“You okay?” Jungkook whispered, his words were almost inaudible. If Taehyung wasn't in such a close proximity, there was no way he would've heard the faint words. 

 

“I'm fine.” 

 

Taehyung watched Jungkook’s mouth turn up into a smile, which was reassuring. He couldn't deny that his heart was pounding in his chest to the point where he could feel pulsing in his ears. He knew what was coming, but he had no intentions of stopping it. He was going to let this scenario play out purely because he  _ wanted _ to. This wasn't for Jungkook, Jimin, or anyone else. He decided this on his own accord, his decision was based just on  _ him _ . 

 

It was the then he could feel the mask dropping off one side, still hanging onto the other ear. He gasped unknowingly. 

Jungkook blinked, staring at the exposed skin. The one part still hanging annoyed him, so he pulled it off too. 

He wished he could see his face in a better lighting, it only being lit by the light provided by the moon, but he was taken aback nevertheless. He couldn't believe the boy kneeling in front of him was real, he ignored the sharp pain in his heart and the voice in his head telling him that he actually  _ wasn't.  _

 

His nose was broad and cute, perfectly leading to his plump pink lips. He turned to the side shyly, revealing the most perfectly angled side profile Jungkook had ever seen. He was ethereal. Jungkook’s heart was buzzing and his hands were shaking, he didn't even think it was possible to love Taehyung more than he already did. He adored everything,  _ every single part.  _

 

Jungkook touched his cheek so lightly it felt like a feather against Taehyung’s skin. He touched so carefully and cautiously like he feared of breaking him, like he was priceless art. He used his second hand to place on his neck, turning it so he could look him in the eye.

 

“You’re beautiful,” Jungkook stroked his skin with his thumb, smiling again, “Inside and out.” 

 

Taehyung felt like he couldn't breathe, the walls in the room seemed to be closing in on him, ready to crush him. All he could do was stare at Jungkook, he couldn't look at anything else. He was scared, heck, he was terrified. He was shaking like crazy, unable to calm himself. 

He knew the impending future but Jungkook didn't, it almost made him feel guilty, Jungkook didn't know what he was doing. 

Taehyung wanted to stay this way forever, Jungkook looking at him like he was his entire world, he had the stars in his eyes. 

 

_ If Taehyung was his world than Jungkook was the entire galaxy.  _

 

It hurt him, but he was happy. He was happy that he could do this at least once, no matter how much that pained him. He wanted to be the one to hold Jungkook, he wanted to be the one who made him smile, he wanted to be the one who kissed him, he wanted to be the one who loved Jungkook, he wanted to be the one loved by Jungkook. 

_ Forever.  _

 

The thought of Jungkook with someone else made him want to scream, but he wanted Jungkook to be happy when he wasn't with him. He just hoped Jungkook didn't hold onto what they had and try to find him, he couldn't allow that. 

He wanted to cry, but he couldn't bring himself to alert Jungkook that something was wrong. He wanted this moment to be happy for him. He could only offer that much. 

 

Jungkook was holding him, his everything was in his hands. He couldn't be happier. Jungkook couldn't recall a time where his insides bubbled with happiness, he couldn't get rid of his smile. But there still was this  _ one  _ thing that he wanted. 

Jungkook leaned in, watching Taehyung carefully. Taehyung closed his eyes in response, his lips twitching. He could feel Jungkook’s warm breath on his skin, making him shiver. He felt something ghost of his mouth, pushing outwards for more.

 

Jungkook obeyed, pressing his lips against his. He could feel his insides crumbling. It was soft and slow, everything Jungkook wanted all the time. His entire body was buzzing, he could feel his hands shaking against Taehyung’s neck, he was  _ too _ happy. He could feel his eyes welling, but they were happy tears. 

 

Taehyung was crashing down, he felt like everything he ever believed in or wanted was falling apart. He was happy, ecstatic even, but he felt horrible for feeling that way. Jungkook was just everything he expected and wanted him to be, soft, gentle, sweet. He couldn't help but feel  _ right,  _ in his head they were made for eachother, but that wasn't possible. He wasn't  _ supposed  _ to be doing this. 

Jungkook move his hand from his cheek and intertwined their fingers, holding them up. He squeezed hard, Taehyung could feel him smiling against his lips. 

 

_ I'm sorry.  _

 

_ I'm so sorry.  _

 

Taehyung gripped back, he gripped for his life. Maybe if he held hard enough Jungkook would never leave him, and they could stay together like this, with nothing bothering them. Taehyung could be human, equal in ageing and they could be happy. 

 

_ Why can't we be like that?  _

 

“Jungkook,” Taehyung pulled away for a second, holding Jungkook’s face in his hands, he knew his eyes were swirling with emotions, he knew Jungkook couldn't read him because he couldn't read himself, “No matter what, no matter what happens. Just- just always remember this okay?” 

 

Jungkook nodded eagerly. 

 

“I'm yours.” 

 

Jungkook kissed him again, pushing forward against his palms. Taehyung allowed him, interlocking their hands once more. 

Jungkook went to squeeze, instead feeling nothing in his grip. He grunted quizzically, reaching out again, but there was nothing. He could still feel Taehyung’s warmth against his lips, he could still hear his heavy breathing. 

 

Taehyung was crying, tears flooding his cheeks, Jungkook could taste the saltiness in his mouth. 

He pulled back, confused, Taehyung looked fine. He blinked, looking down at where his hands were supposed to be, there was nothing. 

 

“I'm sorry Jungkook,” His face was scrunched in pain, he was sobbing, his arms stiff by his sides. His hands were gone, his wrists going translucent, like he was fading away into nothing, “I am so fucking sorry.”

 

Jungkook was aware of the reality of the situation, he just went numb, it was a slap in the face.

 

“No,” he shook his head, clutching Taehyung’s arm, “You can’t leave. You can't leave me alone again.  _ I need you. _ ” 

 

Taehyung choked on his own tears, motioning Jungkook to hug him. Jungkook threw himself into his chest, gripping at the clothing on his back. The tears streamed down his face, his heart felt like it was being strangled. 

 

“I care about you so so so much Jungkook I'm so sorry,” Taehyung wanted to hug him back, but he couldn't move his arms. He felt like his life was being sucked from him, his body going rigid. He couldn't bring himself to fight it, he knew it was no use. He was better off enjoying the moment, holding Jungkook. 

 

“Don't go,” Jungkook was almost yelling through his sobs, digging his nails into Taehyung’s skin, “Please stay with me. I can't do this without you.” 

 

“I'll always be with you everyday Jungkook, I'll never leave you, as long as you remember me,” Taehyung smiled weakly, accepting the future now. He had made Jungkook happy, he had achieved his goal. He couldn't live on with regret now. 

 

“I forgot you last time. Gradually, but I did,” Jungkook couldn't bear it, he just wanted to disappear. He couldn't pinpoint why everyone he cared about seemed to be ripped away from him, it just wasn't  _ fair.  _

Jungkook never took a photo of Taehyung, he didn't have something to remember his face by. He’d forget in time the small freckle just under his nose, he would forget about how he only had one double eyelid. He'd forget the curves of his skin and how his ears stuck out cutely, but he wanted to remember it all.

 

He knew time wasn't a friend and that eventually his image of Taehyung would become blurry, eventually he would just be a fuzzy image of colours in his brain, he may even forget his name in his old age. He couldn't bear that. He wanted to remember every detail forever, because he loved every single part of him, forgetting that just brought him pain. 

 

Taehyung handed him his mask, stuffing it into his palms. 

 

“Keep this,” He explained, “Then you won't forget.” 

 

Jungkook was holding tightly onto his hips now, staring at his knees. He looked up at his face, trying to rapidly memorise as much of it as he possibly could, engraving it into his brain. 

He hugged him again, breathing in his smell, he wanted to remember that too. 

 

“ _ How do you expect me to be happy when I don't have you? _ ” Jungkook was choking on his words, he couldn't help it. This made Taehyung sigh. 

 

“Don't give up Jungkook. It won't bring me back. You know that. Continue to live on, okay? Don't slump back to where you were, you've come so far. I couldn't be more proud of you, I know your mother is too.” 

 

Jungkook could feel him slipping away in his hands, he collapsed into Taehyung’s lap, his head resting between his legs. 

 

_ “What are you saying?”  _

 

_ “I’m telling you to love. I’m telling you to learn. I’m telling you to laugh and to cry. I’m telling you to grasp onto your life even if it’s just by your fingertips. But mostly importantly, I’m telling you to live.”  _

 

Jungkook couldn't feel anything underneath him anymore, his head falling into his own knees. He knew he was gone. 

 

“I love you,” he cried out into the empty room. 

 

Jungkook didn't know whether or not he was imagining things just to comfort himself or not, but he could have sworn he heard a familiar deep voice whispering the words,

 

_ “I love you.” _

 

 

_ \----- _

 

_ playlist can be found [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxLt9YCSIyeaShCFZdqKiOxYw0AeNaoYk):  _

_   yell at me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/unmei_hana) _

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> (for the faint hearted, do not fret, I have an alternate ending in the making if needed)


End file.
